Last week I was watching my regular reality TV show when I started feeling a change in my mood. I was beginning to relate one of the characters on TV with my late wife. Then out of nowhere a flood of emotions, mostly sadness and anger, ensued. This is not the first time that I […]
A widower and single dad with huge appetite for food, travel and movies. A book-o-phobic and founder of "The Phoenix Family" community.
“Oh crap! I should not have done this to him”. “May be this would not have happened had I not been a single parent”. “He does not have anyone other than me”. Invariably all parents go through the “Oh my God! Am I a bad parent?” feeling. And single parenting sometimes has the effect of […]
“Daddy, why did you bring me birthday cake that looks like a game of scrabble? You should have made it a cake that looked like Scotland Yard instead”. Now that was one of the more recent complaints I got to hear from my son who is spoiled for choice. Nevertheless, that pushes me to invent […]
‘Do not go soft on your son thinking he has only you’, advised my son’s pediatrician after I got into my single parenthood. You will have to be strict with him whenever required. This was very hard for me to digest initially, how can I set rules or raise my voice on a 6 year […]
Some of the best advice I received during my initial days of second bachelorhood is take a break, go out and be with friends. I tried it. But the friend circle I had was limited. The friends with whom I did not have much touch with during married days, I did not get the same […]
I’d say most of us are a part of this rat race, watching our peers grow. Why do I feel so? I was, or rather I am party to this rat race. The cost of living is high, my peers buy houses, inflation… run the race, earn more… push working hours, impress boss, get a […]
“Daddy, I do not want to talk about it”, was my then 6 year old’s response when I asked him if he missed his mother. I was worried he was suppressing his grief and needed to be more expressive. It all started when his class teacher noticed he was making more than usual drawings in […]
Year 2013- My son was 6 years old and was attending school. I was with the doctor. The doctor held my hand and said it was over. Your wife is no more, please start informing your family – was his message. The first thing which struck me was how was I going to disclose this […]
Most of us who become bachelor(ette) the second time around, are often told that it is going to be okay. ‘Time will heal the loss/separation’,’just get busy’, ‘divert your attention’….. I feel otherwise. The more you ignore the fact that you are angry or sad about this phase of your life, the more it is going to have a […]
After the sudden loss of my wife, I was confused with several questions running inside my head. Not knowing what’s next. Looking for answers, I made a friend who happened to be a widow. We were able to relate to each other’s problem easily. The non-judgmental advice and empathy we had for each other, helped […]
I never knew about a Single Parent community in Bangalore , until I attended an event on a Sunday evening with Phoenix Family members on the topic - Into the heart of a single parent . There I saw a bunch of likeminded people who had also gone through their episode of hardship , battled against their darkness of loneliness , just like me .
Over the last 8 years , I just focused on my negatives , felt hopeless and it was really hard . My fears where many. Was I being a good role model ? Was I teaching them life lessons ? Was I able to give them enough guidance ? But my whole perspective of life changed after meeting the Phoenix Family .They helped me to look at things with fresh eyes . Being a part of Phoenix family means to be in the company of someone who won't gamble with your heart , they give you honest answer right from their heart . Am happy to be a part of a phoenix family .
I joined this group after months of apprehension. But it turned out to be a great group. I found that I can be myself without being judged. I can express views without being afraid of being seen in wrong light. I can discuss things that I was not able to discuss with my family or other friends. It is a great tonic for me to come out of the loneliness and meet others who are going through similar situations. In addition to this the admin and members work hard in keeping people informed about legal and professional knowledge. I would and have recommended people to this group. I also wish there would be more initiatives like this in other parts of India.
Aakash VaniSeparated, Mom of 7 year old