Escape plan

5 years ago, on this very day, I was the happiest girl in the world. Against all odds, I was marrying the man who meant the world to me.

Last year, today, I didn’t want to be in the same house as him anymore. I hoped that no one would remember my wedding anniversary, I didn’t want anyone to wish me. The same man who I thought was my soulmate, who would take care of me, disgusted me. The very sight of him was revolting. And his touch would make my skin crawl. I wanted to leave him.

I knew I could walk out of this marriage without looking back, because I tried. Heaven knows I tried to save this marriage. Those 4 years were the worst years of my life. I couldn’t give him any more chances, I couldn’t forgive him anymore, I couldn’t pretend that everything was OK anymore. I was done.

My priorities changed. My goal was to start a new life with my little angel, without him. And there was nothing to stop me from doing that. I didn’t need his money(not that he had any), or any kind of support for that matter because he never shouldered any responsibilities as a father or a husband.

So I was mentally prepared to leave. I could move back in with my parents, who would help me with my daughter and I knew they would wholeheartedly support my decision. Divorce, as a legal process, was not going to be easy, but it would be worth it.

I started to plan my moves. Instead of crying myself to sleep every night, I began to document his inappropriate behavior and gather anything I could use against him as grounds for divorce. A friend’s mother and counselor told me that if the physical abuse happened again, I should take pictures. I had a few of these as well. In hindsight, I wish I had gone to a hospital for a medical report or gone to the police. But when you’re in the middle of something as traumatic as this, it’s hard to think straight.

After three months, I was ready to end it. I had discussed the matter with my lawyer and my parents. Now I just needed to wait for the right time to leave. My prayers were answered. An opportunity presented itself as a reason to walk out through those doors of hell, when he least expected it.

Nine months have passed by. Today was supposed to be my wedding anniversary. But here I am, celebrating the fact that I didn’t wait too long to decide that I had to end a bad marriage. Knowing I couldn’t raise my daughter in an unhealthy and loveless atmosphere anymore. I have no regrets about not giving him another chance. I’m celebrating this moment, that I’m with loved ones, family who really care for my daughter and me. Friends and a fantastic support system that will help me through this. I’m celebrating the hope of a brighter future and happiness.

My advice to women in a similar situation is this – if you find yourself at the threshold of a marriage that’s financially, mentally, emotionally or physically abusive, and you want out, be smart about it. The legal process, especially in India, can be lengthy and tiresome. Gathering anything that could be used as proof will definitely help you in your fight for justice.

This article is based on the experience of an individual and should not be misconstrued as legal advice. If you find yourself in a similar situation, please consult a lawyer.