A day in my married life

I woke up .It was 9 am on a rainy Wednesday morning. The house was silent and everything was exactly as I had left it to be at 7:30 this morning. That was the time my husband left to work every day. He works for a multinational firm as a senior manager. I had woken up an hour before to make him breakfast. I was unemployed for around a year then.  Because I was at home, I had opted to take care of the house without a maid’s help. That day I did not find enough reason to get myself up from my bed. So I remained lying. My back was aching and the elastic on my bra was cutting into my skin. There was big mirror framed in wood with attached dressing table just next to the bed. I got up to take a notice. I looked different.  I undressed a bit and took notice of my naked body. I had a big red pimple on my right cheek and rashes all over. I had grown fatter. It was depressing to watch.

Then I got up. There were vessels to wash in the kitchen sink, some groceries to buy, few dishes to be cooked for the day and few numbers to be called.  I dislodged myself from the bed to the corner sofa in the living room and continued being in the limbo mode. I noticed that my phone battery had died out and I let it be that way. I did not want to hear of another job rejection. There was no place to go as it was raining outside. I wanted to talk to somebody I knew. But they were all busy in their respective workplaces. I felt hungry. I had cooked Suji Upma that day. My husband likes it. I didn’t. I had been wanting to go to the next door gym for a very long time. But I didn’t have the money to pay the fees. I have been married for a year now. I never could ask money from my husband. He never offered to pay. But I was in a sad state now. Everyday expenses were eating out of my savings and it was reaching new bottoms. My husband always insisted that I carry my cash whenever we were out. One day I had forgotten to carry. That outing was not a pleasant one.

But I got up and freshened up. I heated up the Upma and had it slowly, as I continued to sit on the corner sofa and gaze at the painting on the wall. Suddenly the doorbell rang. I ran to wear my shirt and then to answer the door. It was the security guard who had come with the monthly electricity bill. I continued with having the Upma. It was around 11:30. I had no one to talk to and nothing to talk about. These were two separate issues. There was no fixed time when my husband returned from work. Sometimes he came by 12 and at times by 7. I was not supposed to call him to ask. One day I had called. The consequences of that were not nice.

But I got up to cook as it was already noon. I did what was supposed to be done in that particular order. The afternoon was beyond boring. There felt nothing to look forward to these days. We didn’t talk much either. Earlier we used to. Now there were many restrictions. These restriction had grown out of learning from sad incidents in the past. The broken dishes and the dismantled door latches were few visible victims of those. I could make a long list of the restrictions. I stuck to this list like Bible. I yearned for peace.

I understood a bit. The lives of unhappy people. The reason behind criminals engaging in heinous crimes. My experience was giving me perspectives. I was never as alone as I was these days. I had work to do. Work to take my mind away from all the emptiness. I didn’t wait for my husband to arrive that day. I kept doing my work and then I slept off.