Why the look?

I never planned on being a single mum.

I was raised the good ol’ fashioned way to believe that marriage is for life. But my life had plans of the contrary. And as fate would have it, I found myself alone with a little ‘un to take care off.

But WOW! 8 years and what a pleasant surprise the journey has been.

We get to take holidays together when we want. No need to wait for two adults to get leave from work.

We get to cuddle and chat and giggle. No need to share the time with a second adult.

We get more popcorn from a single family pack at the movies. Yum! Salted, cheese and caramel mixed.

We teach each other about life. No need for a third opinion. Two opinions are already one too many.

It is all very simple.

I don’t get it, though! Why do people look at me as a single parent and feel sorry for me. Just because I don’t have a husband, doesn’t make me less capable of being everything. I have the potential to be as a person and as a parent.

I still have a life, even more now than before my current status of single parent. I still work, I have friends, I unsuccessfully try to save, I travel, I worry about the future of my child, I hate kiddy tantrums, I want my child to excel, I do get tired, I hate school exam time, I hate homework even more especially when they forget what it is, I organise the birthday parties and play dates, I have to answer questions about life / the moon / how marshmallows are made……

What, I ask you, makes me different from any other parent, single or not? Why do I get the sympathy look and not a parent who has a spouse?

I think life forgot to tell me something about being a single parent. I think all parents deserve that look of sympathy if I warrant one.

And while I generalise and speak about parents who socially are considered “good” parents, I ask you – Show me one good parent who gets as much “ME” time as they would like, one who doesn’t make sacrifices. Is there a parent who doesn’t make a mistake at parenting? Find me a parent who has all the answers to all the questions a child can throw at you. Show me a parent who does not stay up all night when their child is ill. Is there a parent out there who does not want their child’s dream to come true? Show me one, just one such “good” parent!

Ha! Knew it! You can’t!!!

I’m no different. I am a parent. My marital status is single.